is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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