we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
