theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
