Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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