I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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