Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
