3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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