Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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