Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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