real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
