It's Friday. Sex?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
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