So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
