There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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