Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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