I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
