I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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