we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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