I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
When are your genitals available?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize