I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
