My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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