Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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