The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
