the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
