honey bunches of taint.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
