4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
