I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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