He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
