Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
