Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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