I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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