so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
