Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
