hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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