I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
