i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
