we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
