Tell her she can't have a vagina
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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