Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize