So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
