woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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