so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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