just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
