I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
