oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
