You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize