i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize