$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
