So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
