so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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