I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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