she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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