i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
