Quick, to the slutcave!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize