Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm both gender and math confused
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
