Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
