3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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