TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dignity is for republicans.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
